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Points to Ponder

 
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JLH
King Penguin
King Penguin


Joined: 17 Jun 2008

Posts: 4272
User's local time:
2017 Jun 22 - 6:03 AM


Food Intolerances : gluten, casein, soy, eggs, yeast; 3+ rice, chicken, corn, almond; 2+ tuna. oat, beef, cashew; 1+ white potato, walnut

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 2:58 pm    Post subject: Points to Ponder Reply with quote

1. The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like any arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head”.

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass”.

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,a nurse said, “No change yet”.

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
_________________
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV.

LDN July 18, 2014

Joan
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tex
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 24 May 2005

Posts: 30065
User's local time:
2017 Jun 22 - 6:03 AM


Food Intolerances : Gluten, casein, soy, and avenin, (avenin is the prolamin in oats, which is equivalent to the gluten in wheat), beef, grapes, peanuts, cashews, almonds, (but nut butters seem OK except for peanuts), citric acid, chocolate, and agar.
Location: Central Texas

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Tex
_________________
cowboy

It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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hoosier1
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin


Joined: 06 Sep 2010

Posts: 764
User's local time:
2017 Jun 22 - 7:03 AM


Food Intolerances : Gluten
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent
_________________
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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