Joined: 25 May 2005
User's local time:
2013 Dec 13 - 1:38 AM
Food Intolerances : gluten, dairy, soy, corn, yeast, chocolate, tomato, white potato, celery, sesame, carrot, yellow squash, lamb, pork, mango, strawberry, almond, cashew, vanilla, grapefruit, raspberry, avocado, mustard, paprika, cauliflower, cucumber, plum, and more!
|Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:47 pm Post subject: Happiness is a Dry Fart
Joanna recently retrieved this old thread from Sally's original board. I think it belongs here in the Poop Room. It should be required reading whenever any of us is down and out. Tee Hee.
Author Topic: About these pharts!
grannyh Posted: 10-Mar-05 23:39
Since I have been on Asacol...10 days now.. I have had the most horrendous pharts.. LOOOOOONG, LOOOOOOOUD,and "deadly!"....LOL
If there were a contest some place I could win it hands down! My husband is in awe...LOL
Decades ago a doctor told him pharts were health... after some medical procedure and he has used that excuse ever since. So when he made a comment about mine tonight.. I told him they were healthy..he said so himself! He said yes they were but he didn't think they were supposed to take a layer out of the ozone at the same time! ROLFMAO!!
I must say it is kinda fun having pharts instead of crapping my pants all the time but I do wonder if anyone else has experienced these long, loud, ozone destroying "beauties"?????
barbaranoela Posted: 10-Mar-05 23:43
Granny----I am laughing so much @ your post-----and I have to be honest---had some of them and usually when in a deparment store and U try to sneak around a corner and let it *rip*!!!!
Pegster Posted: 11-Mar-05 00:01
I've let some of the best ones ever rip - I'd like to be a part of that contest and pre-warn you...you've got competition!
Dry farts are GOOD things!
lucy Posted: 11-Mar-05 00:21
My hiccoughs are back, and it's allll YOUR fault! Haha!
candy Posted: 11-Mar-05 00:51
harvest table Posted: 11-Mar-05 03:46
Let them RIP, and enjoy each and every fart.
Farting is a good thing.
polly Posted: 11-Mar-05 07:09
ROTHLMAO too! This is too funny, Grannyh, and right on target. I do think it is part of the healing stage (dry farts.......oooops, sorry, guess I should be ladylike like you and call them "pharts").
LOL! The trick is in knowing when we have improved enough to let 'em rip without fear of an accident in the panties!
kate_ce1995 Posted: 11-Mar-05 07:52
Well, according to Nicolodian (sp?), the "average" person farts (excuse me, pharts) 15 times a day. If you ever have that contest, I'll send you Geoff to try and beat! When he gets going, it can be deadly, as you say, and he reminds me of this blurb he heard on Nick about it being natural and all that. He says he saves them up all day so he can "share" them with me. Aren't I lucky?
PS: After a severe gluten ingestion, I could join in the contest too.
self diagnosed Posted: 11-Mar-05 10:00
ROTFLMAO! The only time when I make a lot of music of that type is at the end of an episode, after the D has ended,(thank goodness), and my gut is deflating from all the bloating, swelling, and inflammation. For me, this only lasts for a day or two, at the most.
As Polly mentioned, the real trick is correctly recognizing where I am in the recovery process. Since a premature assumption of safety can be more than a little unpleasant, the first one or two decisions whether to let it rip, or run for the john, are not for the faint of heart.
Pegster Posted: 11-Mar-05 10:00
Excuse me! Butt, I think I'm ready for that contest now
polly Posted: 11-Mar-05 10:12
Scott has been known to share them with me too. One of his tricks is to fart in bed and then hold the covers tightly over my head to make me a prisoner. As I complain and protest mightily, he laughingly reminds me that there is no way he could ever hope to match me in any contest involving disgusting farts. And he is right, of course, as y'all know so well! I can't believe I just told you about that.
[Edited by polly on 11-Mar-05 10:12]
Marsha Posted: 11-Mar-05 10:28
What do you mean "only a day or two at the most"? Like that's a short time? Your wind must not be nearly as socially unacceptable as mine!
Isn't that what marriage is all about? Sigh.
self diagnosed Posted: 11-Mar-05 12:14
That was disgusting! Where's that gavel when we really need it?
I can't believe you wrote that either. And here I was, naively thinking you were a genteel, sophisticated professional, far above such primitive pursuits. LOL.
I wasn't referring to the duration of a single discreet event, but rather the total timeframe for such events. LOL. Actually, at that stage of my recovery, the "bouquet" is not too bad. While not quite as sweet as a baby's breath, at least it doesn't carry any risk of killing any birds that happen to be flying overhead.
grannyh Posted: 11-Mar-05 13:31
Mine have been going on (all day) since I started Asacol 10 (TEN) days ago and they would knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at half a mile... LOL
OMA2649 Posted: 11-Mar-05 16:36
I am Laughing out loud Granny, WShen I first was diagnosed I remember praying for the day I could just plain fart, and when It happened I ran out of the bathroom and said honey! I can FArt!!!!! Of Curse there sat my BIL I didn't know had come in. Love Oma
jrhodo Posted: 11-Mar-05 17:09
My last reaction to accidental intolerance ingestion was farts that would make a middle school boy envious.
Try this next time you want to impress someone: Go outside and place your posterior against the picture window and let it rip. You'll be amazed at how much reverberation you can get. Dave was proud of himself when he figured this one out!
Only here! Jean
jrhodo Posted: 11-Mar-05 17:11
Any chance the Asacol has one of your intolerances in it?
moremuscle Posted: 11-Mar-05 17:58
You guys gross me out LOL!! Is it possible to smell the pharts this far away or is it just my imagination? You wouldn't believe the fragrance of mine before I went GF and all that good stuff - well, maybe you would believe it; I forget who I'm talking to.
Wonderful subject - I must say, grannyh, your humor is yet to be trumphed. Thanks for the laugh!
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Joined: 24 May 2005
User's local time:
2013 Dec 13 - 12:38 AM
Food Intolerances : Gluten, casein, and avenin, (avenin is the prolamin in oats, which is equivalent to the gluten in wheat), grapes, peanuts, cashews, almonds, (probably all nuts)
Location: Central Texas
|Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:01 pm Post subject:
We sure do know the feeling. We'll have to add that one to our list of abbreviations.
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.