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Matthew
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin
United States

Joined: 25 May 2005

Posts: 529
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM



Location: Denver, CO

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:05 pm    Post subject: OMG Reply with quote

A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so
much trouble.!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town.

I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,
and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ..''

His response -- click..



3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did.

I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.

He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.

I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of
the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)



4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)



5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas.

I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas.

When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was
a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''
(Aghhhh)



6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.

She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30 a.m., and landed in Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones.

Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.



7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?''

I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was dying
laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT -
Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on
his luggage.



8. An aide for Senator John Kerry (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii.

After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly
to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''



9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''



10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''



11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents
she needed in order to fly to China.

After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a
visa.

"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.

When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express!''



12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''


Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could anyone be this dumb? Yes, they walk among us, are in politics, and
they continue to breed.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you
just got to spread it around.
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Gloria
King Penguin
King Penguin


Joined: 07 Jul 2007

Posts: 4761
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2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : gluten, soy, casien, eggs, legumes, Pepto Bismol, all fruit except mango, all vegetables, tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrageenan, chicken, beef, orange roughy, cucumber, vinegar, chocolate, olives, buckwheat, millet, tapioca, sorghum, rice
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is one of those "urban legends" that float around the Internet. It's not true of course. No senator or congressman or woman would directly call an airport ticket agent. That's why they have a staff.

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

When I was the technology director at the school, I would regularly have to expose these legends when unsuspecting teachers or staff would forward them.

Gloria
_________________
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
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Matthew
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin
United States

Joined: 25 May 2005

Posts: 529
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM



Location: Denver, CO

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gloria-

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect anyone to take the joke seriously. Any more than I would expect any of the other jokes in the jokes room to be true. That is why I posted it to the jokes room. Not to any of the other articles rooms.

Its a joke.

Get a clean white cloth and polish up your funny bone and have a good laugh. You might even feel better.

Matthew
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Gloria
King Penguin
King Penguin


Joined: 07 Jul 2007

Posts: 4761
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2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : gluten, soy, casien, eggs, legumes, Pepto Bismol, all fruit except mango, all vegetables, tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrageenan, chicken, beef, orange roughy, cucumber, vinegar, chocolate, olives, buckwheat, millet, tapioca, sorghum, rice
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had to deal with this type of misrepresentation all the time when I was the technology director. Some people take these bogus emails as the gospel and forward them as if they were true.

Gloria
_________________
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
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tex
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 24 May 2005

Posts: 30711
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : Gluten, casein, soy, and avenin, (avenin is the prolamin in oats, which is equivalent to the gluten in wheat), beef, grapes, peanuts, cashews, almonds, (but nut butters seem OK except for peanuts), citric acid, chocolate, and agar.
Location: Central Texas

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matthew,

FWIW, I have to agree with Gloria. All the other jokes posted in this forum are clearly presented as jokes. This one is not. The language clearly presents it as truth, and, of course, as Gloria pointed out - it's a hoax. It's a play on the fact that sometimes people, (even people in high positions), do say stupid things, and if they actually said it, then we generally find that to be quite humorous, because it's human nature to poke fun at people in high positions who stumble over their tongue. When they didn't say it, however, that makes it a hoax, unless, of course, the line is presented as part of a monologue by a famous comedian. In that case, though, there is never any doubt about whether or not it's strictly a joke. The name the speaker is sufficient to verify that it's a joke, (Will Rogers, Jay Leno, David Letterman, for example). In this case, though, the original author is anonymous, (as is virtually always the case with hoaxes). Does this line sound like a lead-in to a typical joke?

Quote:
A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so
much trouble.!


No it doesn't. It sounds like someone trying to pass something off as fact.

Do these closing lines in any way reveal that it is a joke?

Quote:
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could anyone be this dumb? Yes, they walk among us, are in politics, and
they continue to breed.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you
just got to spread it around.


Nope. Those lines sound like someone attempting to pass off everything that has been presented, as fact.

In short, there is nothing in your post to indicate that what you posted is a joke, nor is there any indication that the original writer presented it as anything other than fact.

Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not saying that you had anything but the best of intentions when you posted it, nor am I suggesting that you didn't correctly recognize it as a hoax when you initially read it. The point is, you can't yell fire in a crowded theater, and then expect everyone to recognize it as a joke, hoax, or whatever. You have to assume that when you present something as a fact, many people are going to accept it as fact, unless you clearly state otherwise. Orson Wells proved that over 70 years ago, with his famous "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast that began with a series of simulated "news bulletins", which suggested to many listeners that an actual alien invasion by Martians was currently in progress.

Tex
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cowboy

It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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Matthew
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin
United States

Joined: 25 May 2005

Posts: 529
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM



Location: Denver, CO

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tex and Gloria-

Good golly Miss Molly I thought it was really funny. Certainly missed the boat on that one.

I never considered one word to be fact. Just silly, silly, silly. Very interesting to see your take on something that I considered to be a comedy sketch of the ilk of J Leno or David Letterman , Saturday Night Live or even Monty Python and turn it all around upside down and backwards and then analize it all over again. And then again.

As I said I missed the boat on that one .

Would never consider arguing that I am right and you are wrong or the other way around.

I love stories, particularly southern short story writes(Eudora Welty) and just saw it as another story with a ridiculous ending that hurt no one and maybe just a fun view of the world and our own foibles .

Sorry that you took it SOOOOO seriously.

Why kill the messenger for something so silly?

OH, well

Will catch you all on the other side.

Bye

Matthew
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JLH
King Penguin
King Penguin


Joined: 17 Jun 2008

Posts: 4276
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : gluten, casein, soy, eggs, yeast; 3+ rice, chicken, corn, almond; 2+ tuna. oat, beef, cashew; 1+ white potato, walnut

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He put it in the joke room.........
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV.

LDN July 18, 2014

Joan
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tex
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 24 May 2005

Posts: 30711
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : Gluten, casein, soy, and avenin, (avenin is the prolamin in oats, which is equivalent to the gluten in wheat), beef, grapes, peanuts, cashews, almonds, (but nut butters seem OK except for peanuts), citric acid, chocolate, and agar.
Location: Central Texas

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I love stories, particularly southern short story writes(Eudora Welty) and just saw it as another story with a ridiculous ending that hurt no one and maybe just a fun view of the world and our own foibles .


That's the gist of the problem. If it actually hurt no one, then it might have some redeeming value, as a joke, but the fact of the matter is that it is designed to hurt the reputation of the people who are explicitly named, because it wasn't "just a fun view of the world and our own foibles" - it was a contrived effort to humiliate those named individuals, (contrived by the original author, of course, not by you). Trust me, some/most of those individuals are most definitely not my personal political heroes, and I have absolutely no praise for them, (not as politicians, anyway). In fact, if I actually had proof that they might have made such dumb statements, I would probably be among the first to point them out and ridicule them, but since they obviously never made those statements, I find myself, (reluctantly, albeit), in the position of defending their honor. sigh

Matthew, if that were written as a joke, not only would the airport ticket agent be anonymous, but so would all the people who are explicitly named. It's not necessary to attach real names to the stories to make them funny. It is, however, necessary to use real names in personal or political attacks.


Joan,

It's not a joke, for the reasons I've just enumerated. True, Matthew thought it was a joke, but the original writer obviously didn't intend it that way.

I can't believe I'm defending the honor of a bunch of politicians whom I don't agree with, just because of the principle involved. Rolling Eyes
ROFL

Tex

P. S. Yes, FWIW, I thought that those stories were very funny, but that doesn't make up for the fact that the overall original intent was clearly designed as a personal attack against those named individuals.
_________________
cowboy

It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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Gloria
King Penguin
King Penguin


Joined: 07 Jul 2007

Posts: 4761
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : gluten, soy, casien, eggs, legumes, Pepto Bismol, all fruit except mango, all vegetables, tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrageenan, chicken, beef, orange roughy, cucumber, vinegar, chocolate, olives, buckwheat, millet, tapioca, sorghum, rice
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tex wrote:
I can't believe I'm defending the honor of a bunch of politicians whom I don't agree with, just because of the principle involved.


I felt the same way, Tex.

Gloria
_________________
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
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hingbretson

United States

Joined: 24 Oct 2016

Posts: 5
User's local time:
2017 Nov 20 - 11:16 AM


Food Intolerances : Milk, wheat, hazelnuts
Location: Roseville, MN

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:25 am    Post subject: Love it Reply with quote

Funny stories. I read every single one. True stories or not, I needed that laugh.... Thanks for the post!
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